The Interweb Chronicles
by Himitsu Notebook
Summary: All your favorite DCMK characters in a series of internet related shorts!
1. Magic Kaito vs Fan fiction

"Aoko, Aoko!" Kaito flapped his hand at the girl sat beside him "Look at this you won't believe it!" Kaito swivelled his laptop in her direction. Aoko raised an eyebrow.

"Fan fiction? I've heard of that. Isn't it that thing where people write perverted stories about their favourite books and stuff?"

"Yeah, But look, Look!" Kaito jabbed the screen with his finger. Aoko scanned. Her eyes widened.

"No way!"

"Yes way!" Aoko couldn't tell if Kaito was really excited or unbelievably mortified.

"Wha-what is this?"

"Look, there's stories about us! And about tantei-kun...And even about Hakuba! Who'd wanna write a story about Hakuba?" Despite the fact said blonde detective was in fact standing right behind him, Kaito wasn't about to withdraw his comment. Hakuba leaned over Kaito's shoulder.

"What is this?"

"Look Hakuba, people are writing stories about us!" Kaito held the laptop screen a little closer to Hakuba's face than necessary.

"KaitoSaguru BoyxBoy lemon?" Hakuba furrowed his brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Click it and see!" Aoko urged. Indeed Kaito did. He only needed to read a few words of the first paragraph before manically clicking the back button.

"Eeew! What the hell was that crap!?" Kaito stared in horror at the screen. Aoko had gone bright red, Hakuba looked as if he was about to throw up.

"How do these people know about us?" Aoko puzzled. "And what's more they are writing perverted stories about what goes on your personal lives!" She pointed a shaking finger at Hakuba and Kaito.

"IT DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN, AHOKO!" Kaito screamed, his face a deep scarlet.

"I would rather throw myself off a bridge!" Hakuba crossed his arms. "Besides..." He tapped the screen. "It seems not all of them are about me and Kuroba." Aoko blushed.

"Eh?"

"Yes, look at this one. Kaito K. and Aoko N."

"Don't look at it!" Both Aoko and Kaito threw themselves in front of the screen although little did they realise, Akako had now control over the mouse, allowing Hakuba and Keiko to move them from the screen.

"Aww, How sweet." Akako giggled. "In this one, Aoko looses her memory and travels halfway across the world to find Kaito again, after a huge fall out which happened 4 years back."

"Stop it!" Kaito struggled against the headlock Hakuba had him in. "Stop reading them so loud!"

"Oh, And get this!" Akako chortled loudly. "In Chapter 9, you two..."

"That's enough!" Aoko yelled. "Besides, there are some with you in too!" Akako suddenly backed away from the screen, closing the window.

"Well, yes that's enough of that for one day!" She scooted back to her desk.

"Hang on a minute..." Kaito reopened the window. "...Check out this one. It's called: _Hot and Steamy Nights in Paris _by someone called XxAkakoSamaxX!"

"AH, WAIT NO! DON'T LOOK AT IT!" Akako dived forwards only to be restrained by Aoko and Hakuba. Kaito continued to read.

"Summary: _A certain blonde detective is visted by the mysterious phantom thief at the stroke of midnight. BoyxBoy slash KaitoxHakuba lemon." _All eyes were on Akako, blushing furiously.

"AKAKO...." Fire in their eyes, Kaito, Aoko and Hakuba approached the girl, hanging her head in shame. "YOU YAOI FREAK!"


	2. Miwako Sato vs Facebook

Lunch time had finally come. Miwako sat at her desktop, a coffee and sandwich in hand. She glanced at her watch. Quite a lot of time to kill. Lodging the sandwich in her mouth, Miwako opened Firefox.

"Le'see...What's new..." Miwako punched in her facebook password and waited. "Woah!" She glanced down at the corner. 89 notifications? Not to mention it kept going up. 90...91...92...93...That must be a record breaker. Miwako clicked.

_Wataru Takagi is now married! _Confused and shocked, Miwako clicked the notification. She stared at his relationship status. _Married to Miwako Sato. _With an unamused chuckle, she clicked back.

_YOUR AMAZING!!! See your rank on the nicest person contest! _She clicked. First place...

_Ninzaburou Shiratori has become a fan of Miwako Sato_

_Wataru Takagi has joined "We love Miwako Sato."_

_You have a hug request from Ninzaburou Shiratori_

_Wataru Takagi has sent you a gift using FarmTown._

_Yumi Miyamoto likes your status._

_Yumi Miyamoto has posted a comment on your wall_

_Wataru Takagi likes your status_

_Ninzaburou Shiratori has posted a comment on your wall_

_Wataru Takagi knows an embarrassing secret about you! Click here to find out what your friends have been saying about you!_

_Friend request from Isshin Chiba_

_Friend request from Conan Edogawa_

Miwako, unable to bare it anymore stood at the speed of light, slamming her palms down on her desk.

"WILL YOU GUYS STOP SPAMMING ME!?"


	3. Conan vs Heiji and Team Fortress 2

"Conan-kun! Look, you've got something from Heiji!" Conan glanced up from the episode of Yaiba he had been watching. Odd, he wasn't expecting anything from Heiji. He inspected the package, rotating it in his hands suspiciously, pressing it to his ear as if he expected to find a bomb. No ticking. Cautiously, he tore the brown paper, half expecting to find a ransom note saying that Heiji and Kazuha were being kept in an attic again at gunpoint, but rather it was a PC game. Conan stared skeptically. Why on earth would Heiji just send him a game like that? Not only that, Conan was somewhat infamous for being no good at games. His all night PacMan spree had proved fruitless. Only minutes later, Ran appeared at the door again, phone in hand.

"It's Heiji for you." She smiled and passed the receiver down to Conan, who took it. Yet again, some small part of him said that it would be a kidnapper demanding a ransom, but it genuinely was Heiji, surprisingly enough.

"Hey Kudo, did you get my package?" Heiji sounds excited.

"Yeah, I got it. What is it?" Conan continued to suspiciously survey the box.

"It's a game, Team Fortress 2! I though we could play it together!"

"Eh? Team Fortress 2?" Conan stared at the CD case in his hands. Heiji chuckled on the other end of the phone. Conan sighed as he noticed the price label and wondered why Heiji had gone to the trouble of buying him something so expensive just so they could play online together.

"C'mon Kudo, Let's have an online game now!"

"Oi, Oi, Slow down, I need to install it first." Conan paced slowly down the hall. "What's so great about this game anyway, It looks kinda dumb..."

"Come on! You'll love it, honest!" Unconvinced, Conan slumped down in front of his computer and placed the disk in the drive.

"I still stand steadfast in my descision that the Cocoon was probably the best game I've played..." He sighed.

"Well, You may not be able to meet Holmes or Moriarty in this game but just give it a go!" Conan could almost feel Heiji's excitement radiating out of the phone. Conan clicked the icon on the screen and began the long, boring installation process.

So it started typically, loading screen, all that jazz. To Heiji's credit, the graphics were relatively impressive...in a strange warped Pixar sort of manner. He clicked. Now apparently he had to choose his class. He rolled his eyes.

"Who are you gonna be then?" Heiji enquired over the headset he insisted Conan should wear.

"Umm..." Conan browsed. "I'll be the Scout."

"Okay, I'm Heavy. I'll choose the map!" The game began. Conan found himself placed in what looked like an army base with a group of CPU's. He was already finding this rather boring. The siren was sounded and Conan rushed out of the base along with all the others to meet the enemy.

"Not bad, eh Kudo?"

"Meh..."

_Some time around midnight..._

"Agh, Dammit Hattori!" Conan slammed his fist on the keypad. "Your turret got me again! Stop changing into an engineer and building turrets all around my base!"

"Ha ha! All your base are belong to us!" Heiji taunted.

"We'll see about that!" Conan leant in closer to the screen, gripping the mouse firmly and firing at will. "Gotcha!"

"Agh! Darnit!"

Kogoro and Ran slowly peered around the doorframe into the darkened room at the elementary schooler clicking away at the computer screen, screaming insults at Heiji over the headset.

"It's nice to see Conan doing normal kid stuff for once..." Ran reassured herself.

"I think we should get him therapy."

"Agreed."

"He's been on there for the past four days."


	4. Kaito vs the MSN stalker

Aoko noticed there was something a little funny about Kaito that day. Anyone had to shout very loudly if they wanted his attention and Aoko's infamous mop was sitting covered in cobwebs. Jumping at shadows, Asking paranoid questions like "Did you see that bush move? Some-ones filming me!" or "I think we're being followed, Do you think we're being followed?". Finally Aoko decided it was time to place a hand on her childhood friends shoulder, even if it would provoke a large screech and a dive for cover beneath his desk, and ask him what was wrong.

"Kaito?" Aoko placed a hand on his shoulder, the reaction carrying out as planned. "Come out from under the desk, It's just me." Kaito stared up at her like a cornered mouse. "Your...ehem...behaviour recently has led me to believe something might be bothering you..." Aoko spoke as if she was imitating Hakuba. "What exactly would it be?"

"S-someones stalking me!" Kaito whimpered.

"Huh?"

"Every night I keep getting creepy messages on MSN...." Kaito tugged his laptop from his bag and handed it to Aoko. "I recorded them as evidence in case I catch the stalker." Aoko opened the notebook and stared at all the comment's before letting out an irritated groan, storming towards the cupboard in the corner of the class and and flinging it open.

"You again! Get out of here! I already issued a restraining order against you!"

"Aww, Bu-but--!"

"Out!" Aoko pushed the blonde haired girl out of the classroom harshly before slamming the door hard enough to smash the windows.

"Who was it?" Kaito asked, climbing back into his seat nervously.

"It was just HimitsuNotebook again, don't worry about it..."


	5. Ran vs Sonoko and Rick Astley

"1 new e-mail from Sonoko Suzuki." Ran raised an eyebrow.

_Hiya Ran_

_I was talking to Shinichi on MSN and he told me about his true feelings for you. If you don't believe me CLICK HERE! I print-screened it._

_Sonoko-sama (^^)v_

_xxx_

Ran's heart thumped. Nervously, she clicked the link, biting her bottom lip. Could he really...? Much to her surprise, she was redirected to black page with a lone youtube video in the middle. Ran titled her head on one side as it buffered, a little confused. But by the time she realized she had fallen victim to the plague of our times, it was too late.

_We're no strangers to love, You know the rules, and so do I..._

She glanced across the classroom at Sonoko who was wetting herself with laughter.

"SONOKO!"


	6. Kazuha vs Sims2

_AN: I know this isn't really internet related but I just had to do a Sims one_

* * *

Kazuha set down the tea cup on Heiji's desk and peered over his shoulder.

"Eh? What's this?"

"Aho! Don't you know anything about the world beyond the 90's?" Kazuha huffed and placed her hands defiantly on her hips.  
"Geez, Who are you calling aho? And besides I just asked what this thing is! You're so rude!"

"It's the Sims2." Heiji spat. Suddenly Kazuha's anger receded as quickly as it had come. Quickly, she pulled a chair up beside him and leant onto the desk, clearly excited.

"I've heard a lot about this game from Ran, Is it good?" Kazuha turned to Heiji

"Well, It would be a lot easier to tell if your head weren't blocking the screen." She glared at her dark-skinned childhood friend and scooted backwards on her chair.

"Bueh, Aho." She poked her tongue out. "Is it good?"

"Yeah, Look!" Heiji's tone changed dramatically. Ran had once told Kazuha that her and Heiji's relationship was like the weather in the sense that it seemed to change from turbulent to affectionate at the drop of a hat. She scooted back to Heiji's side again. He pointed at the screen, a cheesy grin plastered across his face.

"Look, I made all of us. Look, I made Kudo--"

"That looks like Conan to me."

"Ah, Yeah, That's exactly what I meant. I made C-c-Ku-Conan..." He struggled with the word. "And I made Kudo, Ran and you and me!" Kazuha squealed.

"Aww, You made me really pretty!"

"Aho!" Heiji blushed. "I just chose one of the default models without thinking! Anyway, I made everyone else too!"

"Wow, You must have been up all night creating Sims, Some of these I don't even recognise...Why did you make Kaito Kid?"

"For the lulz." Heiji scratched the back on his head. Without warning, Kazuha suddenly lunged and snatched the mouse from Heiji's hand.

"I want a go!" She grinned at Heiji maliciously.

"Give that back!" Heiji lept forwards only to collapse, sprawled across the two chairs. Kazuha sat down on top of Heiji to keep him in place, prompting a large groan of pain, and began to click around.

"It seems you're Conan's best friend for some reason, and you're furious at Hakuba. Kogoro and Eri have remarried, Kaito Kid is slow dancing with Aoko, While Agasa Hakase has the social bunny. Ran's dead...Why is Ran dead!?"

"I accidentally forgot about her and she died of hunger..." Heiji wheezed beneath Kazuha's weight.

"Heh, Conan has a job in Law Enforcement...But he's a kid?"

"I used a cheat code."

"Now, Sato and Takagi are making out on the sofa...Shiratori just passed out...You and Shinichi are using that big bubble blowing machine thing...Ai Haibara just maximised all her skills...Ayumi is having an affair with Mitsuhiko behind Genta's back...And I have a job in the medical career...Let's see more stuff about me..."

"WAIT!" Heiji suddenly began to struggle. "GET OFF ME, AHO!"

"In my memories, It says "Made out with Heiji Hattori..." Kazuha was silent for a minute before shooting Heiji a death glare harsh enough to break glass, her face bright red at the same time. Heiji continued to struggle.

"I can't control what they do! Sometimes they just do stuff and I can't control it!"

"But it says here you have free will turned off..." There was a long silence.

"Umm...It was...The old lady! She came in here and did that while I was on the toilet!" Kazuha finally slid off Heiji, knealt down so the two were now level, their noses almost touching. She slid a hand onto his cheek and smiled seductively. "Wouldn't it be funny if we were Sims...?" Heiji's internal clockwork whirred in a vain attempt to comprehend the situation, displayed on the outside by a blank face along with a fierce blush. "And we really did make out...?" Kazuha leant in closer, her eyes slowly drifting shut.

"Wa-wa-wait Kazuha!" Instinctively, Heiji closed his eyes in response and waited. But rather than what Heiji had expected, Kazuha simply pinched his cheeks and pulled them outwards, sticking her tongue out at his stretched face.

"A-hoooo!" She jeered. "You're so gulliable! Did you think I was actually going to kiss you?" She burst out laughing.

Heiji went bright red with embarrassment

"AHO!"


End file.
